Blogs… You let it all out?
Heh, the funny thing is with blogs, you never know just who is going to read them. Ironically, that at times is the reason I don’t post as much as I might like to. It doesn’t naturally relate to me KNOWING someone related to my thoughts is going to read – thus typically mean my ‘friendship’ is online related… It’s more a case of what’s going on in your REAL, Daily lives, and the fact THEY might read them.. I know for a fact, I embrace technology and more specifically the web, far more so that most of my friends. Stuff like blogs, and to a degree chatting to anyone online can appear to be somewhat whack. Sure each to their own, some might say, but when it’s friends you’ve had for years and years, their opinion is always going to be a little more important to you. Hell, i am ranting to myself here, and probably not making the upmost sense to be fair, yet I don’t really care. The whole point of me typing what you read before is this,
I hold back from spilling my inner most secrets, on here, because of WHO might read them
Like I said, surely that’s a little whack? Afterall, if that’s true, if you’ve so much to, why have a blog at all? To tell you the truth, given the nature of my character, I really have no idea, even myself! Like now for example, my mind, my heart, is running amuck with ideas, feelings emotions. About who? Well for anyone who DOES care to read this blog post, it’s about nobody you even know. Yet still, despite that, at the back of my mind lies this thought, that for some ODD and BIZARRE reason, that person might somehow find this place, find my weaknesses, and that’s me busted… With that said, what does that really mean for my character?! I guess, in my opinion it means in someways I am reluctant to go into things headfirst. Well then again, it’s not all things, usually more related to relationships really… Why, is really a strange one, i’ve not, to my knowledge actually been ‘hurt’ in a relationship – why would I feel the need to hold out such a strong defense, in advance?! 
Nevertheless, this is who I am…
It’s a shame really, because like I said, my mind really is working overtime, I wish I was someplace else, I wish I was with somebody else… Yet the barrier that surrounds me now, means I cannot shout it from the rooftops. Oh well, if something DOES come of all this positive emotion it could be good, real good. I really hope it does, yet I am one, once more to never get ahead of myself. In many ways, I am the type of person, to believe it when I see. Once again, this could be considered a cautious way to life, yet funnily enough i don’t consider myself so! I would say that i’ve never been good at reading ‘signals’ from women, so right now, I have no idea where I stand. Then again, it’s an unusual situation for me, in another sense really… But If i mention why that is, then it starts to give too much information away!! 
I think on that note, i’ll leave it be. If anyone has read this post, I do apologize! I guess it might be considered a slight insight into my thoughts, my life… Yet unfortunately for anyone that cares, you’re probably not going to get too much really. Then again, if you like intrigue, maybe i’m your kinda guy?! Until then, my bad, I do apologize… 
October 8th, 2005 at 8:39 pm
…
October 11th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Wassup girl?
October 12th, 2005 at 8:38 pm
this post cost me some tears last time I read it, because I recognized some of my thoughts in your words…
October 15th, 2005 at 11:08 am
Awww… I am not alone then. It’s bad isn’t it, really? You should feel free and strong to write whatever you want, on your own blog really.
October 17th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
mmh..According to me, nothing could replace the dialogue with someone…Of course I write some of my feelings on my blog (or on anything else) because it’s easier for me to write instead of talking about my deepest feelings, thoughts…It’s a way to “find myself” :s or when I feel misunderstood…a way not to be (too much) depressed…
I think the more you will (try to) write, the more it will be easy for you to express yourself…
“good luck !”
October 19th, 2005 at 3:29 pm
you big emo :p
October 19th, 2005 at 8:23 pm
I don’t even know what an emo is Dave. Enlighten me mate, i am not down with goth talk…
October 25th, 2005 at 8:47 pm
loooll it’s halloween (in few days) !!
I will become gothh muhaahaahahaa
October 27th, 2005 at 5:51 pm
GOTH? Goth’s aren’t cool!
October 27th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
lol it’s just for one night…Hey Steve : I will become goth so…black hair!!!And white powder on my skin loooool I’m so pale naturally but…it’s not enough :p I want to look like errrrr…
YOUR WORSE NIGHTMMMAARRRREEEE MUHAHAHAHHAAAAA
October 28th, 2005 at 1:56 pm
Well done, old chap! Nice words. Keep up the jolly good work! Lin
October 31st, 2005 at 6:22 pm
Goths SUCK Marteen. Eww.. Please don’t do it to yourself, what a waste!
LIN?! Is that you? *freaky…
November 1st, 2005 at 2:37 pm
ahh! !!!!!!!!!!
MY HAIR ARE PURPLE!!!!!HOOORRRROOORRRR!!!!
YESTERDAY NIGHT I COULDN’T SEE THE RESULT AND I JUST NOTE THAT MY HAIR WERE DARK BUT TODAY… I DISCOVER WHAT…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH OH MY GOD AND TOMORROW I MUST GO WORKING AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
LMMMMAAAOOOO IT’S HORRIBLE BUT IT MAKES ME LAUGH SOOO MUUUCHHH WHEN I SEE MY FACE IN A MIRROR LMMAAAOOOO IT’S SO RIDICULOUS IN FACT!!!
“RIDICULOUS HAVE NEVER KILLED ANYBODY”
…well…I think I’m going to wash and wash and wash my hair because…it’s really awful loool…
{I think I’m going to take a photo and put it on my blog because…lool I can believe it!tell me I’m dreaming pleeaaseee loool}
November 1st, 2005 at 3:35 pm
Oh yes (nods in a Churchill doggie way). Beautiful words matey. Brilliant job on the m/b.
November 1st, 2005 at 6:02 pm
Where have you been, what have you been upto? I don’t quite think my words are beautiful. Much has changed with my thoughts and feelings since i wrote this post, but I still remain afraid to publish them online. It’s a shame really, I enjoy the release it gives me, but i’ve never been the kind of guy to go all out, without thinking of the potential pitfalls.
November 1st, 2005 at 6:04 pm
Marteen I have to see this, show me!!
November 3rd, 2005 at 12:17 pm
Where have I been? In a strange place. All change. We have to move (again). C’mon Steve, you’re incredibly talented as I’ve always said forget potential pitfalls and go all out! You won’t fall, babe, and if you just happen to I’m there to catch you!! L xx
November 3rd, 2005 at 6:19 pm
I put a photo on my blog, you can see what I look like…It’s really awful beeeuuuaarrkkkk!!!
My colleagues laugh about me for 2 days now grrrrrr!!!!!I thought if I attached my hair nobody could see it…I’m so naive sometimes lmao
—–
“potential pitfalls” ???
=} are you paranoid ?
November 6th, 2005 at 4:17 pm
too bad you dont post here often
I really like you blog Steve! how have you been?
November 6th, 2005 at 5:31 pm
Hey Christina. I didn’t know you even checked my blog out! How many other people are checking it out on the sly?!
I’ve been ok girl, not too bad I suppose. How about you? I’m gonna try and blog more, I could blog an awful lot more, but I am reluctant to just say ‘anything’!
Holla back girl.
Marteen – Your hair looks brill! Haha… NICE.
Lin – You’re moving again, or you HAVE moved?! Pssh, I am not sure how much talent anyone requires to blog really… It’s no big deal…
November 7th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
lol see as you said yourself you never know who’s going to read your blog
i’ve been ok too. life is crazy right now :S got a lot goin on and its tiring
but otherwise it wudnt be interesting, right? 
November 7th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
Yea, surely that’s a good thing?!
Like I said, i wouldn’t of expected to see you here. I did try and check yours out too, but I am pretty sure it was in Russian! Strange, because I wouldn’t expect you to be ‘russian’ from the way your are, or express yourself…
November 7th, 2005 at 10:27 pm
lol yeh I’ve put that link but then realised there was no point coz you wudnt be able to read it :S yeh its in russian
lol what did you expect me to be? ‘americano’? lol P.S. Im aint russian btw, I’m ukrainian, which is almost the same, just slightly different 
November 8th, 2005 at 8:16 am
Sorry girl, i didn’t know. Ok in future I willl remember your Russian. I know I would appreciate being called Scottish, or Welsh. My bad – Sorry!
Blog? Given how well you write, maybe I should encourage you to have a English based blog, eh?
November 9th, 2005 at 9:41 am
not Irish?
I write well?
:):) hehe I’ll think about the english blog 
November 9th, 2005 at 5:56 pm
Haha, good girl!
November 14th, 2005 at 7:22 am
I’m actually quite THANKFUL you’re not letting it ALL out cos that would mean PAGES and PAGES >> see Brittanica encyclopedia kinda thang…
:p
November 14th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Haha, yes I do kinda write a bit.. I can’t help myself. I feel sorry for ‘her’, she has lots to read!