So what’s cracking?
Well… It’s 12:15am, and i’m sat here in bed with my 12″ PowerBook, listening to Bobby Valentino on the iPod. I’ve heard a few of his tracks before, and they’ve really grown on me.
This was his debut hit single, it was never ‘outstanding’ to me, but there’s something about it, that really grew on me. I love it now, i’ve played it out…
Sounds kinda similar, in my opinion, which is great given how much i was feeling the first track. 
The song is actually from Luda’s “The Red Light District” LP, it’s somewhat different to the other tracks on the album – I think it’s the latest single from that album too, and it’s a banger. The album version has a funny ending to it too! 
Good tune.
I’ve only just picked the album up today, but i’m listening to “Want You To Know Me” now and it’s nice… The album kinda surprised me, makes me wonder why i didn’t think about picking it up sooner…
Talking of music, I only just got my iPod back. Well when I say back, i’ve an iPod again! The last one I had was giving me issues, it kept freezing and not booting and al-sorts of NOT cool stuff. So on Monday UPS collected from me. Tuesday it was in Holland, Wednesday they’d ordered me a replacement, and Thursday it was shipped back to me. By Friday, I was chilling with a brand new looking iPod, and I’m all smiles!
All the scuffs and such that were in my last one, are history! I’m pretty pleased with that.
Women?! Heh, this is a tentative thing to talk about really, where do I begin, how much do I talk about? Well I can’t not say anything, so here goes…
The biggest thing for me, at the moment is uncertainty. I feel like:-
How much does she really care?
Does she not express it so well, because of who she is, or because she ‘has someone’?
Will she change much, if things move on, and she doesn’t still have that ‘someone’?
What is she thinking?! Does she really see a future with me?
Can she really be content with this dull relationship?
It’s so frustrating for me at the moment, because I am totally besotted. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m not lying, every single second we spend together feels special. It feels so right, so natural, so easy… That’s probably the only reason I am still here really. It’s certainly not me, to chase a girl, who’s in a relationship, so what gives? To me, this feels special, but it leaves me wondering, am I the only one who feels this?!! I’ve always thought I wasn’t the best person, when it comes to expressing my feelings, my emotions and such, but with her it feels so easy – I just hope and wish she can do the same in me. I want to be there for her, I want her to confide in me… Or as Bobby V says… ‘I want you to know me, better than I know me…
It’s so much, it really does consume me at the moment. It’s awful, because I know how much I already care for this girl, but at the same time it’s hurting me, the fact I am in limbo. It feels like I am caught between my mind, and my heart. My mind tells me that the girl is ‘taken’, I should move on, press on with my life… My heart tells me this girl is special, we share something special, and I don’t want to let that go? It leaves me totally confused! What do I do? If I hold on, for how long?! Where’s the yard stick?! So So difficult… 
November 7th, 2005 at 6:50 pm
Here it is!
Ok. My advice is you need to read the signs, a great PUA (pick up artist) once said if a girl gives you 3 IOI (indicators of interest) then its on, dont screw it up
Indicators would be asking questions about your sex life (do you have a girlfriend) laughing at everything you say, touching your hand, if you squeeze her hand, does she squeeze back?!
I lap this sort of stuff up. How long has this been going on? How good is the relationship she is in?
Watch out for the consquences, because this man shes with, could he beat you up? It may sound silly, but be careful incase some 6 foot 6 mother wants to come round your house to shake you around. It happened to me, but once I took off my shirt and started yelling (fights seem to favour the insane) he was all quiet.
November 7th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
oh Slow Down is a nice track! I love that beat! its rather unique. I’ve only heard 1 other track – everytime they come around. but I’m not really feelin it
on iPods
I’ve become an iPod addict 
no, more like an Apple addict 
I’m gonna sell the one I have right now and get myself that new video iPod 
oh and 12″ Powerbook? lucky you! its my dream!
on the girl… *sigh* I’d say give it a little more time. Maybe things will sort out. Or you could just take a risk and ask her how she feels? Its always good to talk coz otherwise you’ll go crazy with all those thoughts.. oh and one more thing.. finding someone who makes you feel that way is very hard, but when you do fin that someone it’s trully amazing, I know that from my experience. So I say whatever you do, don’t give up on her
November 7th, 2005 at 9:33 pm
You should check the album then! It’s pretty decent, I think. Now i’ve given it a better listen, i’d recommend…
Slow Down
Tell Me
Lights Down Low
My Angel
Want You To Know Me
I’ll Forgive You
I love the intro ‘Some Bobby’, which is bad, it’s only 30 secs, but hella catchy…
Ooh, you like Apple gear huh? That’s great, you and me both girl. You have an iPod now, but you want to upgrade? That’s what I am trying to do, but I need to find a buyer first!!!
I have a colour 40Gb model, it’s great, but I want more! 
Greed?
The Girl, to me is something special. I can’t bare to let her get away, but it’s confusing for me. I don’t know how to be, it’s so uncertain. She makes me feel happy, whenever she’s around, whenever she contacts me… I just hope she feels it in exchange! I have kinda asked her, but she tells me she’s confused. I don’t think she’s ready to commit her mind, to anything whilst someone else is in the picture. It’s complicated!
Above anything, I notice that when we’re both together we smile. Sure she laughs at my jokes and all, but I just feel and sense an overall feeling of, well happiness. I hope it isn’t just me reading things all wrong. I hate to get my hopes over things, as you can probably tell! 
Fantana – some interesting points mate, i’ll keep them in mind. I am not really bothered about the other man, in terms of that really.. We’ve been growing close for only like 2 months or so. Things have been kinda intense, well in my mind at least. It feels to me like things have gone so very quickly, but I can’t deny my feelings, no matter what length of time.
November 7th, 2005 at 10:47 pm
lol its not greed. its an iPod addiction. I have the same illness only with side effects for accesories lol socks, remote controls, earphones…
YAY! 
:)
I have an ordinary 20Gb one. Love it so much! He’s called Joey lol *not the point* lol yeh, I’m looking for a buyer too, gonna deff get myself the new 60Gb video one by New Year
give her some more time Steve. She wudnt contact you and she wudnt spend time with you if she didnt enjoy it. So she must feel smth too. She needs to figure out what it is, thats all. I’m sure things will turn out to be great in the end. You’re gonna have be as patient as you can.. dont push on her tho. everything’s gonna be fine coz you deserve it!
November 7th, 2005 at 11:18 pm
Most murders are a result of relationships, so it pays to keep in mind the actions of what might happen to you.
Steve, this might sound harsh but it takes around 10 girls to get over “one-itis” Just go sleep around and tell me if you still feel the same.
Also, she is getting the best of your company when you want more, I would definately freeze her out (that is, not see her) Give her the gift of missing you.
She may just be using you for her own sake of telling her girlfriends, to make her ego feel better. What girl doesnt like attention?
But, I may be wrong. Maybe she is genuine. Maybe this is the girl you should be with. In which case, what does it cost to be honest?
Do the kiss test, put your arm round her shoulder, does she feel uncomfortable?
Play with the tips of her hair, does she smile? If she doesnt, oops. If she does, tell her it looks nice, move your hand slowly up and look at her eyes, then her lips, eyes, then lips then lean in and kiss her.
November 8th, 2005 at 10:01 pm
LMMAAOOO Fantana you should write a book “love in 10 lessons”!!!!
Sorry Steve, I prefer not giving you my point of view on this subject, it’s so personnal and I don’t know you enough so…It would be out of place from me…
I just think time will be your best counsellor.
“MIND VS HEART”
Who will win ?…
Susspppeennnssee…
*see the next episode*
***********
*good night *
***********
November 8th, 2005 at 11:57 pm
Pssh. Shush Marteen!
Fantana – MURDER? WHAT? Damn, sure i guess it’s a consideration, but damn… I think that’s going a little to an extreme?!!
I am 99% sure she ISN’T uncomfortable around me, but hey, i don’t think I am the problem! It’s her! The thought of moving on, maybe scares her? I just hope she looks forward, and has faith in the future…
I tried freezing her out, but you can’t understand how that made me feel! It made me feel I was punishing myself, more than her. I’d love to be able to do it, but I can’t, it kills me to think it, after me TRYING to do it before.
I am not willing to commit to anything physically whilst she is with somebody, I want her to be able to trust me fully, so it makes sense to me. Just how I am I suppose… Bit old fashioned maybe?
November 8th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
Thanks for your kind words Christina, I hope so.
Funny to hear about your iPod fever, you’re not alone girl, I am the same for sure!
Although I think you’ve gone to a new level – I don’t think I named my iPod / PowerMac / PowerBook! 
November 9th, 2005 at 9:53 am
shh dont tell anyone!
November 9th, 2005 at 6:00 pm
Hah, your secret’s safe with me…
November 9th, 2005 at 6:47 pm
Steve – Murder is a reality. I was just saying it so you watch your back, if you die, whos blog am I going to read?
Really, I would walk away from this girl and freeze her out.
You could try to force sex apon her, rape is hard to prove. She may just be waiting for you to push yourself over the line of just friend and take it to the next level.
November 9th, 2005 at 6:52 pm
Rape? Err… Ok
No thanks man…
November 9th, 2005 at 7:11 pm
Not actual rape. Thats wrong. I mean, be more forceful. Be more manly.
Im just saying, if you go to forceful and its not the right option, it would be hard to prove you did anything wrong IF YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG.
if you cross the line then your in trouble, or I would hope you would be.
November 9th, 2005 at 7:28 pm
I could, sure… But I want her to respect me for being a decent honest person see.. If I did do that kind of thing – and NOT respect that she’s in a relationship, she might well consider that i’d be capable of doing it, with someone else in the future… I don’t think it’s the route for me, though I appreciate what you’re saying…
November 10th, 2005 at 7:06 pm
Yeah, well I think its great you respect her so much, but dont let “respect” come in the way of being a “man” (not saying your not being a man, just dont be a wuss you know?)
Do you sleep around a lot??
November 10th, 2005 at 7:08 pm
Yea I know what you’re saying.
Sleep around? No mate, never interested me before, can’t see as though it ever will. My mates love to brag about facts, figures and numbers, but it doesn’t cut it for me.. I proclaim to be one of the good guys, whether that’s enough, time will tell..
I take it you do? In terms of relationships and such, what do you aspire to achieve? Say 5 years time, do you WANT a steady relationship, or are you happy to hop on and off…? Pun intended…
November 10th, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I dont appreciate you trying to belittle me Steve, my views and my opinions I will share with you, but only if you are respectful.
November 10th, 2005 at 7:12 pm
I am not trying to belittle you at all mate, you must of mis-understood something. It was an honest question, given what i’ve learnt of you. I mean, for me I wouldn’t of done, what you did you’re mate – so naturally I presumed that is how you look at women? My bad, if that isn’t the case.
November 10th, 2005 at 7:15 pm
Sorry, how do you think I percieve women??
My air of mystery it seems makes me uncoherent
November 10th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
what is “shush”?…I know “sushi” but errr…loool
November 10th, 2005 at 10:04 pm
Shush = Shhh! or ‘Be quiet’
November 11th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
thanx
*blush*
November 12th, 2005 at 7:06 pm
Why are you so happy, since yesterday, Marteen?
November 13th, 2005 at 4:36 pm
“since yesterday evening, YOU know why I am so happy”
;o)
November 13th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
Umm hmm, i am pleased for you girl… And your brother!!!
November 14th, 2005 at 7:18 am
Steve… just take off your shirt; that’s all you need to do. That would work for her.
November 14th, 2005 at 8:18 pm
Psshh… I don’t think she needs to see my ‘Belly’!
