Ugh…
You ever have those days, where you don’t wanna get up?
Yeah, I thought so – me too, yet somedays are far worse than others… Sure enough, I am a complete waste of space, once the sunlight shines on my face. I don’t enjoy getting up at all, but today was a killer like no other. Night by night, I’ve not been getting a massive amount of sleep of late – some my own fault, others just for well I don’t know why… So last night I decide to goto bed early – 9.30pm. Sure enough I am dead to the world in little time, but I wake at like midnight, from there on in, to 3.30am I am awake, twisting and turning, moving in and out of the bed-sheets, either too warm, too cold. In the end, admidst frustration I give up, and decide to grab my iPod, and listen to an audiobook – assuming it’ll send me to sleep. No suck luck, but eventually I make it, the promised land.
Morning follows, and I am truly knackered once more, I feel drained, and I force myself to work… Then i find out my colleague who does my job with me, was off ill, so not only do I feel RUBBISH, but I gots pretty much twice as much work as normal to get through. That really was the last thing I wanted… 
Sure enough, the day passes by quite fast, but that’s only because i had little time for reflection on where I was, what I was doing, and who with…
^ That could be taken out of context! 
…Day passes gradually, I feel bad in myself, but in that I really do NOT want to speak to anybody. Isn’t it funny how when you feel crap, and you want to be left alone, it feels like the whole world, and it’s momma, wants to speak with you?
Damn frustrating I’d say… 
Yet when I feel that way, I feel guilty, you can easily see I am not being me. The loss of wit, vibrance, or even a care for what is going on half the time is a sure ‘tell tail sign’. Within 30mins, somebody said:
“Steve, you’re not quite with it today, are you?” – Damn sure!
I just recall people asking me things, and me thinking eh?!!? – It wasn’t that I didn’t know what they were asking me, or how to respond, but feeling so exhausted and all just made things well, strange. It was as if I could really fathom out, HOW to respond… Quite embarrassing really.
I just hope tomorrow isn’t quite so bad – god help me if football is on, in the evening! :X
Ironically, it’s 1.15am, and here I am sat in my PowerBook, writing this tale.. On that note, i’m out…
March 5th, 2005 at 2:06 am
hi steve!
I found ur blog through the craig message board. well i see that u are a moderator and i need your help. i registerd on the uk board long ago. however in the past months i havent been able to log in. my username is pynkgoddess. when i try to login it tells me that i have an invalid password and my account is inactive. I dont know what to do. i have emailed the webmaster but i never recieved a reply from her. Is there anything you can do to help me. I even tried to reregister and it says that my email address is already in use. please help me!
March 6th, 2005 at 10:50 am
Your problem is that you sleep too much so you’re body is used to getting that specific amount of sleep even if it is not required, with time your body adjusts to it and feels tired if it doesn’t get it *gonna stop playing nurse now*
To be honest, all men sleep a lot lolz. Unlike our pal Steve over there, I like to get up early lol it’s really fun once you think of a new day starting, wondering what will happen today and who you might run into. I know what you’re thinking, Steve…. I’m not a weirdo!! I swear 
for some reason I wake up with a wide smile on my face, it helps me to feel good about the day.
I didn’t feel like getting up today but duty calls. My most annoying part of the week is when someone wakes me up with his bloody phone call. I usually turn my phone off before sleeping but I forgot to do that last night coz I was very knackered. I bet you know precisely how irritating that feels. Txts I can tolerate but phone calls…
I just feel like crying when the start the conversation with “are you sleep?” grrrrrrrrr who wouldn’t be asleep at 3-5:00am when they are supposed to go to college the day after?… stupidity!
You lose interest in the most wonderful things, things you used to enjoy or find funny when you ain’t in the normal mood, darling. I always try to normalize it by listening to music, txting or even making long distance calls
I am willing anything to re-stabilize my mood 
ah….I’d write more hun but I have a freaking lecture
xx
March 6th, 2005 at 12:59 pm
Steve,
I feel like that some day’s too dude. Like today, and yesterday. This weekend I had to work 2PM-10PM on Saturday and it’s the same today. It’s bloody horrible. Time passes so slow, 8 hours seems like 16. Yesterday there was no work coming in, thus nothing to do so I just read 3 Mac Magazines page to page and then made a start on a John Peel book I’ve got.
The worst thing was that today I work up at about 10.15AM and thought ‘great, no work today!’ and then I realised that I do have to work today. It sucks.
Lee
March 6th, 2005 at 5:39 pm
Hey, Jehan. I’ll see what I can do, sure thing.
Steve
March 6th, 2005 at 5:58 pm
LOL Sam, thanks for the lecture gurl.
I don’t think I sleep so much, but truthfully I think sub-consciously, the uncertainty of moving home, probably is getting to me. If anyone asked me about it, i’d play it down, but maybe it effects me more, than I even realize myself.. Who calls you at 5am? damn, surely isn’t me…
March 6th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
Yeah Lee mate, I feel ya… Do you work shifts permanently? I don’t know If I could do that too much personally – do you still find enough time to chill with your mates and all? It must kinda mix things up for ya?! I know what you mean about work though… Ironically, the day is a whole lot better, if you’ve got a load of work to do… Strange how that is – a bit like when you wish you were home, yet when you have time off / ill or whatever – you get bored. Go figure?!
I’ve gotta run to football now, later.
March 6th, 2005 at 11:20 pm
Yeah Steve, I work shifts permanantly. It’s much better than working a regular 9-5 job because obviously the money is better and with me being only 17 and all I’m a slave to money! Over the course of this weekend I am earning more than 3x the Minimum Wage for 17 years which is great because I have set my sights on an iBook or a PowerBook!
But yeah, it’s not so bad really. I still get time to chill out and stuff and I often get my weekends off during the week if you know what I mean. It’s nice when I have two days off during the week, you can get stuff done then. Like tomorrow I have off, then I work 10AM till 6PM Tuesday till Friday and then I have the weekend off so it’s not a bad week really.
I work at Transco, in their Gas Emergency Dept. basically looking after and monitoring the teams of Engineers via computer. It’s quite boring but it’s okay for the time being.
Anyhow Steve, what’s your job like and what does it involve dude. I reckon you should add an ‘About’ page on here!
Speak soon,
Lee
March 7th, 2005 at 7:08 am
Dude!! Jehan!! S’up, gurl? The other day I logged on aim and you IMed me and it kicked me out. I kept trying it but it didn’t work. For some reason, it kept closing whenever I got an IM. My wee cousin got really mad at me for that. Hah. Ooops. Anways, strange to find you here, but holla!! I hope you’re doing good. College ok? Much luv. xx
Hey Sammy!!
March 7th, 2005 at 1:30 pm
Yeah man, i guess it all makes some sense. Sounds like you’re happy with it – although hell I think anyone would be, earning 3 times the average … I’ve heard of Transco, are they apart of British Gas, or did i just imagine that part?
Sometimes I’ve thought Hey I could work shifts, but then I realize I am an idle sonfoa’ in the mornings. Nights or lates would be fine by me, but 6am? Pssh, there’s only one 6 O’ clock I know mate, and it surely isn’t ‘am’!
Ya job doesn’t sound so bad mate, better than mine! – Maybe I should add an ‘about page’ – I was thinking of it actually, along with some audio content, for music I like etc etc, maybe I’ll think about doing that sometime. As for my job, well it’s a mix of allsorts really. I work for a motor factors (we sell replacement car parts etc..) My daily job consists of hmmm…
Picking orders and getting stuff ready for pickup / deliveries
)
Booking out / Crediting items
Amending Stock records
Putting Stock away…
Looking after the 20 odd computers, 7 printers, faxes and crap… (which they take for granted!
Alsorts mate, to be honest.
Then, I also am in charge of the PR stuff for the company, so ‘on the side’ (I work from home) I do posters, flyers and alsorts of stuff like that… Which is a nice little earner too. Plus it’s nice to have your work put out there, you know? That’s exactly what i’m looking to do, full time, but it’s a slow process right now, it’s nice to have quite an easy job in the day, and this on side. Given I only do 30hrs a week now too. Heh.
Saving for a Mac laptop huh? Well, as you probably noticed, I just got an older 12″ PowerBook. It’s great mate, I really do like it alot. I bought my dad an iBook for his birthday, and in retrospect, I wish i’d of bought him a PowerBook like mine. Sure it wasn’t as fast in terms of clock speed, but it looks better, feels better, and with more RAM is probably better now. So yea, if you can afford it, go for a PowerBook mate, you’ll love it.
Steve
March 7th, 2005 at 1:33 pm
Beni’s here too?!
– Hey Beni what’s up? Are you saying you tried to IM me, or are you talking to Jehan? 
Jehan, fingers crossed, you’ll get your account fixed asap. I don’t have the power to reset your password, so i’ve asked the management to do it. It’s down to them, let me know if they do it or not, so I can chase them down, or send a thank you note.
Cheers gurl,
March 7th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
LMAO!! Steve? WTF? HALF my message is GONE there!! hahaha Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
Dammit. It’s a good thing I guess? I was apologizing to you in the part that is POOF GONE!! Damn this bitch… Grrrrr
xx
March 7th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
I am never leaving you a message here, ever again!
March 7th, 2005 at 5:07 pm
Not ever…
March 7th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
nope…not gonna…
March 7th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
NEVER!!
March 7th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
Hahaha!!
Sry. I had to. xx Buh bye.
Bring back my lost message or die.
Luv ya. x
March 7th, 2005 at 5:14 pm
My unworthy messages keep gettin’ deleted by you.
*sniffle*
Ok, I’ll be gone now. My heart is broken. I hatechu.
*crying*
March 7th, 2005 at 5:15 pm
It might the site just deleting them… OK OK I’m LEAVING!!
March 7th, 2005 at 6:38 pm
Bless ya Steve, the first one is always free *giggles* ah today sucks, speak to ya later hun x
*waves at Beni* hey girl
March 7th, 2005 at 7:29 pm
Beni, like i said, it leaves me messages to moderate – because ironically I was getting spammed… Search for Spam on my blog, it’s quite funny!
Although, the half message thing, yea it’s happened to me too, I ono why though…
First WHAT is always free, Sam?!
March 8th, 2005 at 6:06 am
ROFL @ Beni, chill down girl, you’re taking my light now
Steve, tut tut!!
shame on you 
I was talking about the FIRST ‘lecture’ 
BTW, don’t even think of working shifts 
you already work too much lol
March 9th, 2005 at 1:40 am
LOL, Oh that’s what you were talking about! I gotcha!
As for shifts, well I don’t think I work that much, i don’t even work 40hrs… 
– My mates sure don’t think I overwork myself! 
March 12th, 2005 at 10:50 am
Hey thas right
I actually did the maths 
you should be proud of me 
lolz shut up don’t you dare call me what I think you will 